How a mom of two got more flexible by letting go of harsh expectations
"It is better to show up and do the session your way than to give up feeling inadequate."
Marie spent years pushing herself hard, never feeling like enough. But when she started working through emotional trauma in therapy, she began feeling how much anxiety, stress and tension her body had been holding onto. We chatted to her about what it took to slow down, and how she finally became more flexible and strong than she'd ever been.
I'm a 58 year old mother of two adult children. I work from home selling books, and I'm finishing up a two year grad program in Spiritual Direction to accompany others in their life paths.
Before I did Kaya I did Hips Like Honey, and before that I was doing HIIT workouts. I started exercising some years ago when I kept throwing out my back due to a lack of core strength. My attitude had always been to push myself hard in everything, but I started sensing I needed something more gentle. Even with HLH I was feeling stiff and unstretchy.
What was the final straw that made you decide things had to change?
About a year ago I started working through a lot of emotional trauma in therapy, and I began to be able to feel my emotions in my body more. I realized how much anxiety, stress, tension, shame, sadness (etc) I was holding on to, and began to experience that movement made a direct impact on how I was able to process these things.... or not.
I am actually able to be more flexible and strong now that I have slowed things down and am not trying to force myself. I am still dealing with some heavy things, but I have found the emotional tools on Kaya to usually be a significant help. Instead of having harsh expectations of faithfulness, I realize that every time I try to be faithful to movement, it is a gift to myself that i am offering, or an investment in my well-being.
I am learning to be gentle with myself and others, and I am realizing how much my "hold it all together" harshness was really my obstacle and not my answer.
I would say that it is better to allow yourself your limitations (so, let your squat be not so deep, your split be not so wide, skip parts you just can't make work) and do a session your way, feeling good about having shown up than to give up feeling inadequate because of comparisons or high expectations on yourself.
I like many but I suppose my favorite journey is Hip Rinse.
